Sunday, 25 November 2012

An Ode to Frustration: 7 reasons why I hate this sewing machine

Disclaimer: The following rant was written by someone who has had the luxury of using an industrial sewing machine at length and now looks upon domestic sewing machines with some degree of scorn. This is an ode to the frustration caused by the combination of features the domestic machine lacks, such as the ability to sew a seam on a bit of cotton without committing harakiri.

The Singer. A humble machine, a classic, and as it turns out, a pain in the ass.

1. Every time you turn it on, the needle does a wee jerk from side to side. Heaven forbid the needle is already lowered through your fabric. Cue: ensuing shit attack.

2. It's alarmingly easy to hit the backstitch button (which operates without pedal) with your knuckle when lifting the foot/repositioning your garment. It's only a matter of time before I reverse over my own index finger.

3. It doesn't stop immediately when you lift your foot off the pedal. In a similar fashion, it doesn't always start when you press down either. Just to let you know who's boss.

4. The default position for the needle is OUT of the fabric when you stop the mechanism. Fuuuuuuu...


I have no idea what purpose it serves. Most likely an experienced seamstress would find it very useful, but it just gets in the way of everything. (Namely the panto cow costume.)

6. The bobbin threads get caught up in the needle. Probably more down to my inability to thread a bobbin correctly than a fault with the machine, but it's blimmin' annoying. 

7. The "arm" is too fat. I can barely fit an armhole around it. What kinda bingo wings is this hames designed for?

Yes it appears that I am attributing this monstrosity with human qualities (hell, I wouldn't be surprised if it was given the gift of freewill!), and yes there are other sewing machines I could probably use, but I just don't understand how Singer could go this wrong. Plus, I broke the Pfaff so many times already and the needle won't stay in it anymore. The fact of the matter is that if I was to try and take on this machine, I don't think I'd win. For now I'll just have to invest in safety goggles and a finger guard. Also, this:

Oh the joys of domestic sewing machines.

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